your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
