I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Swine flu. Run for my life!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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