The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
