it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
