Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
