how can u be prego again
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
