Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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