Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
