If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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