He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
