I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
The best revenge is premature balding
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
