we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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