She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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