btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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