TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
