God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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