we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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