Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize