I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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