Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
