have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
