Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
The dick lei will go down in squad history
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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