Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
