Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She even gives head with a lisp.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
