I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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