Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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