Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
