Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
