All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Randomize