Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
