please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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