that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
