she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
