It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
