i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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