I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
