that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
