My sheets look like a crime scene.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
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