haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
