She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
