Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize