Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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