You're so nebulous sometimes
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
