Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
