can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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