Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This baby is an asshole
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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