there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
