Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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