Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
