No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
