After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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