Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So much rum. So many feels.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
