glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I deserve to be covered in dicks
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
