i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
