But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize
