He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
