Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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