I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
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