So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
