we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
