You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just saw a hot homeless man
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize