If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
