I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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