Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
